eternal return of krug and the squid wizard

Final Fantasy Adventure is a really cool game I'll probably never beat. This in itself is not unusual. There are plenty of cool videogames I've half finished, part of the endless list of art that I'll get around to properly eventually/honestly/never. I know in my heart that I would love Moon: Remix RPG Adventure, Mason & Dixon and * Such is the curse of the database animal.

But this time was different. This time, I really did want to beat it. I got pretty far. I was having fun.

And yet. The squid wizard.

Let's talk about Krug.

In fact it has so kind of sort of in a manner of speaking worked that I thought it was a great idea to help my girlfriend convert her old Samsung phone into a media player, a debloated install of Android with Foobar on there and very little else. Seemed easy enough, I hadn't used an Android phone since uhhhhhhh but I did put Cyanogen on it and like installing CFW on a Wii, it's surely only gotten easier since I last did it. She gave it a try, though understandably the preponderence of AI horseshit articles that hallucinate approximations of what you're supposed to do hadn't helped her much. No matter. I would give it a go, on a lovely Sunday afternoon, sun shining through the window, ready to head back out

The job was finished at 9PM, and though I could now present my girlfriend with the weird alien-cat logo of Foobar sitting on top of relatively stock Android, a spark had left my body. It was partly my fault- on account of my Excellent Brain, if I am presented with a problem with tantalising solutions just out of my skill set I will stare at a screen, eyes drying in the glow of IPS, ignoring food, water and dwindling sanity until It Is Done. Samsung are also at fault, requiring finger mangling button combos and the bizarre proprietary nightmare Odin to flash anything onto this hateful rectangle, a nightmare that was EVEN WORSE on my beloved Mint, in which you don't use Odin but instead Heimdall, a command line version whose documentation might as well have been runic. I swallowed my pride and retreated to my Windows partition, Microsoft helpfully reminding me why I had been so happy to leave with an unsolicited ad notification for the premium version of Avowed, Available Now. But while my hatred runs deep for the dogshit screaming misery of Windows 10, that loathing has long since run cold, a real Dead Dove Do Not Eat type experience.

But fucking MEDIAFIRE.

It's so nice installing Rockbox on anything, even my tiny box MP3 player, because while it has a very nice all encompassing installer, you also have access to years of releases that can be installed manually, and its so nice to have that preserved, unlike EVERY FUCKING CUSTOM FIRMWARE FOR ANDROID because the fools the poor desperate fools who were trying to help out their fellow human by sharing less fucked versions of alleged open source operating systems always entrusted FUCKING MEDIAFIRE, a katamari of rotten links, with perhaps a mirror to a fucking Google Drive that is of course long dead too, and you start to wonder why Samsung released two phones in the same year with the same shell but one letter different in the model number, and you start to wonder why "rooting" a phone is even necessary, and you start to wonder how many hours, days, you have spent in your life trying to assert any type of control on hate machines that want nothing but to drain your life to fund the most Hitlerite shit imaginable, and you dream of Killdozers and letterbombs and oh thank you Azerbaijani youtube channel for having a working link and its over, you're spent, and you slink back to Linux in vague shame for participating in this technological death ritual, but you can merely hope the anger you have poured into the universe is potent enough to kill at least one CEO.

Fucking computers.